Philosopher Koder

Philosopher Koder updates every $$\left[2^{18},+\infty\right)$$ seconds (about three days).

	PK "That regex is wrong in about fifteen different ways. This is justice, people." The great Philosopher Koder (an update on antiquity) himself, rules his own Kallipolis/Computer Science department of a small university with a benevolently iron fist. No one knows his real name, but he's probably at least a senior by now.
	Marion "I had thought Computer Science was some persuasion of expensive Chinese crockery." A surreal mix of charm, idiosyncracy, and hopeless naïveté, Marion is taking an introductory CS course to fulfill a broadening requirement for a fine arts degree.
	The Sysadmin "You want root, you say? How adorable." A horrifying and almighty creature from the beyond. By popular belief, a sysadmin is created whenever a segmentation violation occurs—the universe attempting to correct somewhat for said computational injustice.
	Casey "Due tomorrow?!" A CS undergrad who is always behind on his work. This is primarily due to incompetence, but he works so hard that no one can fault him for lack of effort.
	Adam "Burn in your blue screen hell, screen-glitter-imbued acolytes to proprietary software!" The mandatory Linux diehard in every CS department. Adam wages holy war on everything else. Especially Windows.
	Theodore Jenkins, Ph.D "See, it's not 'dubiously ethical', it's 'experimental'." An amoral but surprisingly polite researcher in machine learning. Rather vacuous teacher of CS 101.
	Sarah Jenkins, MD "You'll be healthy and like it!" High-strung, Latin-obsessed, sleep-deprived head of the rival medical department. Dr. Theodore's wife.